thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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