i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
