I wannas sexs uuuuu
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
