THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
