Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
