It's Friday. Sex?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
