She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
