I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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