Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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