Are we in a gay sports bar?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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