Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
PANTIES FOUND
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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