That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
