Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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