Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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