Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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