Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize