I hate your face
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
