Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
