yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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