I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize