Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
