Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
