it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
