Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
