i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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