would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
