How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
