I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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