Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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