Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
