put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
