she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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