come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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