Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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