Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
