This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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