A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
