I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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