I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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