haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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