garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
