i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
