My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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