who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
