I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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