it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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