weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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