stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
