No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Randomize
