he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
