i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
