my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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