I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
