I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
