if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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