SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
