She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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