No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
