is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
